The World's #1 Authority on Magnificent Sidelocks Since 5764
You've come to the right place, boychik.
Whether your payos currently look like two sad pieces of overcooked spaghetti or you just want to elevate your curl game to Rebbe-level status, this guide has you covered. We consulted with top payos-curling experts from Williamsburg to Bnei Brak, tested every technique during Shalosh Seudos, and even involved a cholent-fueled focus group. The results? Pure gold. Like your gartel.
Follow these and your payos will be the talk of every kiddush
Lightly dampen your payos with water. Not too much — you're curling payos, not making a mikvah. A small spray bottle works best. Some people use the condensation from their cholent pot lid, but we consider that an advanced move.
Step 1: The sacred shpritz. Easy does it.
Your index finger is the OG curling tool, passed down from generation to generation. Some modernists use a pencil or their wife's mascara wand (with permission, obviously). The Baal Shem Tov reportedly used only divine inspiration, but a finger works fine for the rest of us.
Take the payo between your index finger and thumb. Now wrap it around your finger. The direction matters! Clockwise on the right, counter-clockwise on the left. Or was it the other way around? Doesn't matter — pick one and be consistent. Hashem appreciates consistency.
The sacred wrap technique. Your bubbe would be proud.
Once wrapped, hold for 10-15 seconds. Use this time wisely — say a quick kapitel Tehillim, think about what's for lunch (cholent, obviously), or contemplate why your neighbor Yankel's payos always look better than yours.
Gently release the curl. DO NOT YANK. This is a payo, not a ripcord. Let it spring free like a beautiful, kosher slinky. Step back. Admire. Feel the satisfaction that only a freshly curled payo can bring.
Both payos should match. If the right one is a tight spiral and the left one looks like it just woke up from a nap, you've got work to do. Use a mirror. Yes, we know you look amazing already, but trust the process.
You did it! Now sit down and eat some cholent. You've earned it. But BE CAREFUL — nothing ruins a fresh curl faster than leaning too close to a steaming pot of cholent. Keep those payos back! We've lost too many good curls to kishke steam.
Our research shows a direct relationship between cholent consumption and payo curl quality
Bowls of cholent consumed → Quality of curls achieved
* Study conducted at Kiddush clubs worldwide. Results may vary. Not FDA approved.
For when basic curls just aren't enough anymore
Tight, precise spirals. Each curl is exactly 1.5cm apart. Requires German-Jewish precision and Hungarian-Jewish confidence. Practice in front of a mirror for 40 days.
Loose, flowing curls that say "I spent exactly the right amount of time on this." Perfect for the man who wants his payos to have that effortless Israeli breeze look.
Thin, elongated spirals tucked behind the ear. The classic. The OG. The "my great-great-grandfather did it this way and I'm not changing." Respect.
Extra volume, extra bounce, extra everything. Because it's Shabbos and you deserve to look your best. Warning: may cause spontaneous compliments at kiddush.
When your cousin's getting married and you need your payos at peak performance. Apply a tiny bit of water, curl tight, and pray they hold through all seven hakafos.
The legendary technique. Nobody knows exactly how it's done. Some say it's a family secret. Others say it just happens when you learn enough Torah. We believe both.
Careful! Keep those fresh curls away from the cholent steam!
Engrave these upon the tablets of your heart (and your bathroom mirror)
Thou shalt curl thy payos daily. Consistency is key. Your payos don't take days off, and neither should you.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's payos. Everyone's hair texture is different. Yankel's ringlets are Yankel's ringlets.
Thou shalt always carry a backup spray bottle. Humidity is the enemy. Be prepared like a Boy Scout, but frummer.
Thou shalt eat cholent before curling on Shabbos. An empty stomach leads to shaky hands, and shaky hands lead to uneven curls.
Thou shalt not curl during davening. We know the temptation during a long speech, but focus. There's time after.
Thou shalt accept compliments gracefully. When someone says "nice payos," the correct response is "Baruch Hashem" — not a 20-minute lecture on your technique.
Thou shalt protect thy payos from wind. A gust of wind can undo 10 minutes of careful curling. Hats exist for a reason.
Thou shalt teach thy sons. Pass down the sacred curl techniques. This is our mesorah.
Thou shalt never use a curling iron. This is not a salon. This is a sacred tradition. Fingers only (and maybe a pencil in emergencies).
Thou shalt rock thy payos with pride. You're carrying thousands of years of tradition on the sides of your head. Own it.